David Cameron is a headless chicken who legged it after Brexit — which shows how lucky we are to have Theresa May as PM

MEMO to David Cameron’s agent: If your man is going to have any more unscheduled chats with members of the Press, best not to do it when Dave is wearing his running gear.

Not a great look for the chick-chick-chicken who bottled Brexit.

Interrupting his morning jog, our former Prime Minister gave his longest comments yet on the 2016 EU referendum since he deserted his post the morning after the result came in.

It was the usual forgettable Cameron waffle, hoping MPs “can come together to find an alternative partnership agreement” with the EU and blah blah blah.

What will stick in the mind is the image of Cameron scuttling away after the small talk as fast as his little Old Etonian legs would take him.

It reminded the country Cameron is the biggest coward ever to grace British politics. You can say what you like about Theresa May. That most of her problems are of her own making.

That she threw away her majority with a catastrophic General Election.

She has never been a true believer in a bright, shining future that awaits us outside of the EU.

And she was always far too polite to the nasty political pygmies of Brussels.

But I’d bet my last euro history will think kindly of Theresa May for her courage, decency and astonishing resilience.

We will remember Cameron as the PM who ran away. We will remember Theresa May as the PM who stood and fought.

And still she fights on.

Cameron is the biggest coward ever to grace British politics

Tony Parsons on David Cameron

Even after all the petty playground snubs from our spiteful “friends” in Brussels.

Even after her own Tory MPs tried to boot her out.

Even after the humiliation of seeing her deal voted down in the greatest Commons defeat in history.

There is no quit in her. Despite her many mistakes, I am proud of our Prime Minister.

Human courage is never a trivial, unimportant thing. When May says she still wants to deliver Brexit, I believe her.

Now she is bringing her deal back to the House of Commons on January 29 for another try. Incredible. This woman could have flown Spitfires.

And every time she squares up to Jeremy Corbyn, May makes him look like a senile Marxist muppet who will NEVER be Prime Minister.

It is sometimes suggested we don’t know what Corbyn believes — but that is not true. We know he despises this country.

We know he won’t sit down with Theresa May to discuss breaking the Brexit deadlock but will gladly snuggle up to Hamas, Hezbollah, the Provisional IRA and any passing terrorist that fancies a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit. We know Corbyn is anti-business and pro high taxation.

This woman could have flown Spitfires

Tony Parsons on Theresa May

We know his preferred economic model is Venezuela.

The only real mystery about Corbyn is where he stands on Brexit.

He has played it both ways — posing as a Leaver in the North and Remainer in the South.

This cynical hypocrisy must stop now. This should have been the greatest week in Corbyn’s political career. May’s deal crashed and burned in such spectacular fashion that it would have ended a Prime Minister in normal times.

May then faced a no-confidence vote she narrowly won with the help of the DUP.

She looked — and still looks — as if the Downing Street removal men could be arriving any day.

But Corbyn makes May look good every time he raises his voice to that hysterical shriek. The louder Jeremy Corbyn turns up the volume, the less he actually says.

On the greatest issue facing our country since World War Two, nobody has a clue what the leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition believes.

We hear about the bitter divisions within the Conservative Party — and they are real enough.

But Labour has its own civil war — between its working-class voters and its middle-class MPs; between old-school, decent Labour supporters and the Jew-baiting toytown revolutionaries that poured in when Corbyn became leader; between those in Labour who want Brexit honoured and those who want Brexit killed.

Two-faced

What does Corbyn want? Nobody knows!

I can imagine pretty much every scenario. I can imagine, despite what Chancellor Philip Hammond promises Big Business, this country leaving the European Union without a deal. For how can you have ANY negotiation if you are not free to walk away from the negotiating table?

I can also imagine a Brexit in name only, which technically fulfils the result of the referendum but does not allow us to trade with the world. I can imagine a second referendum and I can imagine staying in the European Union, even though millions have learned to despise the EU.

I can imagine Article 50 being extended. I can imagine MPs kicking the can down the road. I can imagine a third general election in four years.

The one thing I truly can’t imagine, no matter how hard I try, is the British people ever voting to have a two-faced, economically illiterate IRA groupie as their Prime Minister.

They will never vote for Jeremy in Basildon. Run the country? Do me a favour. Corbyn can’t even run the Labour Party.

'Lord Bercow' block

WHEN the dust settles on Brexit, there has to be some kind of reckoning for those who should have stayed neutral in the national debate but couldn’t quite manage it.

How can the pro-Brussels BBC justify its £150.50 licence fee after Brexit?

As for John Bercow, he should be the first Commons Speaker to be denied a peerage in 230 years.

The mouthy midget has been so outrageously pro-EU in the House of Commons he was crowned “European of the week” by the crowing continental media. Let that be his fitting – and only – reward.

One's Phil of driving

LUCKILY – perhaps miraculously – no one involved in Prince Philip’s car crash near Sandringham in Norfolk was seriously hurt.

The 75-year-old youngster who helped Philip from the wreckage says the Duke seemed “humbled” by the experience.

Philip claimed the crash happened because he was “dazzled by the sun”.

But perhaps being three years short of his 100th birthday had just a teeny bit to do with it, too.

Strictly

THE Strictly tour is launched with a photoshoot with its four female headliners – Faye Tozer, Stacey Dooley, Lauren Steadman and Ashley Roberts, pictured, left to right.

How familiar they all seem – and how well we remember the perfect tens and dance-offs, their sequins and smiles, triumphs and tears. But, personally, I hadn’t heard of any of them before Strictly. I might have glimpsed a couple of them on some old episodes of Top Of The Pops. That’s it.

Now they are all household names.

People moan when Strictly has a lack of true celebrities in the line-up. In the end, it never matters. Because the show makes them stars.

Ad hardly cutting it

NEW Zealander Shelly Proebstel was spending the day at Mount Maunganui beach when she was mocked by men laughing at her physique.

Thousands have watched her post on Facebook showing the bullying.

So it felt like the perfect time for Gillette to launch its new ad campaign by climbing on the “all men are toxic” bandwagon.

“Bullying. Harassment,” booms the ad, accompanied by numerous images of men bullying and harassing. “Is this is best a man can get?”

Er, no. But men don’t need a company flogging razor blades telling us how to act.

Most of them know bullying is wrong. Don’t blame all blokes for a few morons and their moronic mates.

Most men don’t stare into the shaving mirror every morning tormented by the thought we bear some personal responsibility for the #MeToo movement.

We have daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, female friends and colleagues.

Sorry, Gillette. Most men don’t identify with Harvey Weinstein.