Give the Gift of Laughter With These Funny Birthday Wishes

Let’s face it: the sappy stuff isn’t for everyone. While some people live for heartfelt and emotional birthday messages, others would rather forgo the celebration at all if it meant they could prevent the waterworks. If you fall into the latter category and prefer a lighthearted approach to birthdays, you’re not alone. Even the Drummonds love to celebrate their family members with knee-slapping funny birthday wishes, puns, and dad jokes!

Life is too short to be taken so seriously, whether you need birthday wishes for a best friend or birthday wishes for your mom. Choose an exceptionally cheesy card and throw in a good one-liner or sarcastic birthday quip. Pioneer Woman food fans might get a kick out of a line like, "Have you heard? In banana years, you're ripe enough for bread!" If your bestie is big on the puns, draw a couple of pickles and write, "How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays." So if you're wondering what to write in a birthday card, this list has the perfect balance between silly and appropriate, so you can deliver a birthday wish that's as unforgettable as the birthday person themself. Heck, one of these messages would even make a really cute birthday caption for Instagram!

Ree Drummond

Best Funny Birthday Wishes

Like cheese and fine wine, you’re only getting better with time!
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
They say the older you are, the wiser you become. At this rate, you’re basically Socrates!
Another year, another candle on the cake. At this rate, your cake is going to need its own fire extinguisher.
Remember, age is just a number. In your case, a really, really high one.
Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. But make sure you check it for wrinkles first!
Age is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
Happy birthday! You're not getting older; you're just upgrading to a version with more 'wisdom' and fewer 'teeth.'
I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming. Happy birthday!
Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
Remember, age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it. But at least you can change your age on Facebook.
Every day we celebrate you... but today, you get a card.
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. You're doing pretty well!
A wise person once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one!"
Happy ~~Easter.~~ ~~Christmas~~. ~~Independence Day.~~ You know what? Just eat your darn cake!
Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but wrinkles are real estate for wisdom!
Congrats on surviving another year! Just remember, at your age, it's important to start using your blinker when changing lanes... in the grocery store!
It's time to get this party started! But seriously, let's get a move on—we both know you can't stay up past 10 p.m.

Alison Gootee

Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend

You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
My birthday wish for you is that your hangover tomorrow isn't too bad.
Happy birthday, bestie! Remember, age is just a number, but in your case, it's a really high one. Just kidding – you're like a fine wine, getting better with age. Or maybe just fermented. Cheers!
Like the clothes we covet, you’re not old, but vintage! Happy birthday to my shopping partner and bestie!
I can’t tell if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. HBD, friend!
Cheers to the one who knows all my secrets and still decides to be seen in public with me. Happy birthday, bestie! May your day be filled with as much joy as our late-night gossip sessions.
What did one veggie say to the other on its birthday? Ha pea birthday.
You’re the Thelma to my Louise, the Snoop to my Martha, and the Selena to my Taylor. Wishing the happiest birthday to my partner in crime!
In dog years you're dead. Happy birthday to a man’s best friend!
Happiest of birthdays to the kid who always knows what to say, what to wear, and when to leave the party.
Cheers to another year of making questionable decisions together! Happy birthday, my partner in crime and the craziest friend I know!
Happy birthday to the person who has seen me at my best, my worst, and my weirdest... and still loves me anyway! You're stuck with me for life!
A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.
Happy birthday, bestie! Here's a long life together, so we can be 100 and still gossiping like teens.
How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays.
Happy birthday! We'll be friends until we're old and senile... then, we'll be new friends!

Ashley Alexander Photography

Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister or Brother

Congratulations on reaching an age where you wake up at the same time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday.
Cheers to you! May your birthday be as unforgettable as my Netflix password.
Happy birthday to a guy who continues to defy the effects of time, both in appearance and behavior!
Happy birthday to the sister who knows me better than anyone else and still manages to like me. You're either a saint or just really good at pretending.
Another year older, wiser, and more like me. You're welcome. Happy birthday, little bro/sis!
Wishing my favorite (and only) sister the happiest birthday ever! May your day be filled with joy, laughter, and fewer annoying questions about borrowing your stuff.
Happy birthday! You're not just my sister; you're my partner in crime, my co-conspirator, and the reason our parents have more gray hair. Here's to another year of mischief and laughter!
Congratulations on turning another year older and still not having your life together. You're not getting older; you're just collecting more experiences... and probably a few more gray hairs. Happy birthday sis/bro!
Happy Birthday! I would have bought you a gift, but it's above my sibling pay grade.
Older? Definitely. Wiser? Definitely debatable. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to the only person I know who can get away with using anti-aging cream and a fake ID at the same time!
Happy birthday to the best sibling. I'm so grateful you came into my life to make me seem normal!
Loving you is a piece of cake. Now, it's time to eat yours!
Happy Birthday! Thank you for the sacrifice of being the older sibling paving the way, and making me look good!
I just want to say on your special day, thanks for always being older than me.
Don't forget to smile uncomfortably when the whole family sings you Happy Birthday!

Ashley Alexander Photography

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

It’s better to be over the hill than buried under it.
Birthdays are like golfing — it's a lot more fun if you don’t keep count!
You aren’t old, you’re a classic!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
Like an iPhone, you upgrade each year!
Let them eat cake. And by them, I mean you!
Birthdays are like vacations: infrequent and fleeting.
Celebrate your birthday like a cat: by turning up the mewsic.
Happy Womb Emigration Day.
Congratulations on the level-up!
Have you heard? In banana years, you're ripe enough for bread!
Happy National [Name] Day!
Happy birthday and keep up the good work getting older!
We're both getting old, but who's counting? Happy birthday!
Have a drink for me on your birthday! Or two...or four!
Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks never met you.
Last year your birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! Keep adding those candles!

Buff Strickland

Funny Birthday Wishes for Husband or Wife

Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more than you do! Happy birthday, and may your joints be as flexible as your sense of humor.
They say the older you get, the wiser you become. So, at your age, you must be the wisest person I know... or at least the one with the most birthdays.
Happy birthday to someone who is not only a year older but also a year closer to qualifying for the senior discount. Enjoy the perks, ancient one!
Happy birthday, hubby! They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I'm not sure if that's true, but I did get you a cake just in case.
Congratulations on surviving another year of my snoring. I know it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. Happy birthday, my sleep-deprived soulmate!
Happy birthday, darling! Remember, you're not getting older; you're just leveling up in the game of life. And as your devoted player two, I'm here for all the co-op adventures ahead!
Cheers to the one who still makes my heart skip a beat – and not just because I almost forgot it was your birthday again!
Happy birthday to one of the only people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis! Well, most days.
Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and loves you all the same.
Happy anniversary of being Bourne. I still maintain that was Matt Damon, but I'm happy if you're happy.
Happy birthday! You're like a fine wine—getting older only makes you more valuable and smell a little funky!
Happy birthday! You know you're getting old when you can't remember how old you are. So, how old are you again?
Happy birthday to someone who's aging like a fine cheese, getting stinkier and more delicious with each passing year!
Happy birthday to my favorite human pillow! Thanks.
Happy birthday to the luckiest man/woman in the world. Getting a man/woman like me is winning the lottery!
Everything in this world has a limit, but my love for you is limitless... most of the time. Happy birthday!

Caitlin Bensel

Funny Belated Birthday Wishes

I didn’t forget your birthday, I’m just celebrating your birthweek!
They say good things come to those who wait, so consider this belated wish the best thing ever. Belated happy birthday, and may the delay bring you extra happiness!
Happy belated birthday! I was going for the surprise element. Who knew arriving after the party could be so suspenseful?
I didn't forget your birthday; I just wanted to test your patience. Congratulations, you passed! Belated happy birthday!
I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I just remembered your birthday... fashionably late. Belated happy birthday, and may my memory improve before your next one!
You forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy birthday!
Someone has to keep the party going. You’re welcome. Happy belated birthday!
I'm sorry for the delay in my birthday wishes. Let's just blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. Happy belated birthday, my friend!
I may have missed the actual date, but my love and wishes for you are timeless. Happy belated birthday!
I couldn't decide what to get you for your birthday, so I thought I'd give you the gift of suspense. Happy belated birthday, my patient friend!
I didn't forget your birthday; I just wanted to add some extra suspense to your life.
Happy belated birthday to someone who's so awesome that they deserve to be celebrated every day, not just on their actual birthday!
I didn't want to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday. I wanted to be the last one so that you'd remember me the longest! Happy belated birthday!
Sorry for the delay, but the good news is that now your birthday celebration can last even longer! Belated happy birthday to the coolest person I know!
I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that's who! Happy belated!
Yes, I forgot your birthday. But on the bright side, I also don't remember your age!

Micaela Bahn

Micaela Bahn is a freelance editorial assistant and recent graduate from Carleton College, where she majored in English literature. She loves running, photography, and cooking the best new recipes.