60 Funny Birthday Wishes For All Your Favorite People

Make them laugh out loud on their next birthday with these hilarious birthday wishes.

By

Updated on April 30, 2024

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

I can't figure out if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. Happy birthday!
May your social media pages be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!
I regret to inform you that your childhood has now expired.
When did our wild oats turn into shredded wheat?
They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a fully rim of salt on a very large margarita.
Everyone gets to be young once. Today it's official, your turn is over.
I’d give you my last French fry. That’s really saying something! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! So glad you were born.

You're not old. You're chronologically gifted.
There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
So many candles, so little cake!
We're both getting old, but why keep track. Happy birthday!
Every day we celebrate you... but today, you get a card.
Happy National (Co-Worker's Name) Day!
Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
Congratulations on leveling up... err - happy birthday!

Age is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
You know you are getting old when people call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you up?"
Happy Birthday to a (Mom/Dad) who is smart, funny and good-looking, from a (daughter/son) who inherited all your best qualities.
I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now. You’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
The worst thing about growing old is listening to your children's advice.
May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.
Happy anniversary of the day you escaped mom's womb!
I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so boring without you there to watch.
I remembered your birthday without Facebook! Go me!
Happy birthday from your favorite child.
Happy birthday to Mom and Dad’s second-favorite (son/daughter).
Happy birthday, (Mom/Dad)! And thank you for the genetics that gave me these good looks.
Happy birthday to my (son/daughter), who is smart, kind, funny...and reminds me a lot of myself.

Happy birthday to a (daughter/son) who has the best (mom/dad) in the world.
I was planning on getting you something amazing and memorable for your birthday, but then I remembered that you already have me in your life.

They say life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.
Great news—you're still alive! Happy birthday!
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct.
Don't think of it as turning (age). We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your (age -10)th birthday.
A birthday reminder: Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Happy birthday!
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
(Age)?! I demand a recount!
Happy birthday! And seriously who would want to be 17 again?
It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake. I've already alerted the fire department.
If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them.

Don't feel deflated that I’m a little belated.
Happy birth week! Those are a thing, right?
They say wine gets better with age, let's hope they say the same about birthday wishes.
You forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy birthday!
This year I’m celebrating your birth month instead of your birth day. So happy birth month to you!
You can never just celebrate your birthday on one day, that's why I waited until now to send this card.
You’ll never guess what I just remembered ... happy belated birthday!
You’re so special that I couldn’t fit all your birthday wishes into one day. Happy belated birthday!
This card isn't late. I am drawing out your birthday celebration as long as possible.
I know I missed your birthday, but is there any cake left? Happy birthday!
Fashionably late is in style, right? Happy belated birthday!
It's a birthday month, right? Sorry I missed your big day!
This birthday card is definitely not late. I’m just extending the celebration.
Someone has to keep the party going. I'm taking one for the team. You're welcome. Happy belated birthday!
I know I’m late, but if I had punctuality on top of all my other qualities, it wouldn't be fair to everyone else. Happy belated birthday!