‘Hancock’ review: Remember Will Smith’s ‘Wild Wild West’? Well…

Thanks a lot, Big Willie. I have new wrinkles in my forehead from furrowing my brow through “Hancock.” Some of us regular humans can’t bounce back from disappointment that fast.

Right off the bat, director Peter Berg’s extreme close-ups (this is not “Friday Night Lights”!) and shaky camerawork started throwing me off the blockbuster scent. Then the swears came in. I’m no prude, but I’d gotten used to the squeaky-clean Will Smith. I’d forgotten his “Bad Boys” days.

“Hancock” showed a glimmer of the old Smith when showcasing an underdog hero who is just hurt and lonely - only a little boy and a PR executive for friends. Then the third act happened. I had a hint to what was in store from the trailers, but not to this extent. An interesting dramatic concept totally misused in a tonally challenged summer popcorn movie

Hancock – full name John Hancock because he has amnesia and doesn’t know his real name – is a drunk jerk who doesn’t like to be called an a*&hole and happens to have super strength. Everyone hates him because by saving people he does the kind of structural and financial damage Danny Glover and Mel Gibson were doing in every “Lethal Weapon” film. Just on a larger scale.

One day he saves the life of an idealistic L.A. public relations agent named Ray (Jason Bateman, only he could pull off an idealistic PR guy. Bless him). Ray wants to pay Hancock back by remaking his image. Ray’s son, Aaron (Jae Head), worships Hancock. Ray’s wife, Mary (Charlize Theron) doesn’t trust him.

That’s basically the story. There are some two-dimensional bad guys involved, but for once they are afterthoughts The meat is something that shows up late in the game and would be a spoiler to mention. Let’s just say it’s well-meaning and ambitious and the chief cause of my new wrinkles.

“Hancock” isn’t very funny. It isn’t very serious either, although in parts it tries to be a tear-jerker. It has its moments and I wouldn’t call it a total turkey, but even “Wild Wild West” has its fans. It’s just not up to par.

From the cocky comedy of “Independence Day” and “Men in Black” (both released around July 4, thus creating “Big Willie Weekend”) to the heartfelt drama of “The Pursuit of Happyness” and “I Am Legend,” we’ve come to expect one-man marvels from Smith. This time, the only hero trying to save the film is Jason Bateman. And every time he opens his mouth I want someone to fast-track the “Arrested Development” movie. (“Arrested” also had something going by bleeping out the swears – it’s just funnier somehow.)

Odd how this summer is turning out. “Iron Man” was a dark horse, but it came out first and is winning the race by a mile.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” was so forgettable I forgot it came out this summer.

“Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” was a gem but no royal blockbuster.

“The Incredible Hulk” found success simply by being better than the 2003 version.

“Speed Racer” crashed.

“The Love Guru” was hated.

“The Happening” didn’t happen.

“WALL-E” turned out to be a mature sci-fi masterpiece hiding inside a G-rated animated children’s film.

And “Hancock” was meant to be the Fourth of July firecracker, but it’s fizzling out.

Can’t wait to see how “The Dark Knight” is – besides already being called a posthumous Oscar vehicle for Heath Ledger. (You’d think they’d wait for the movie to come out to decide that.)

I’m not going to call Hancock an a*&hole because I know how that upsets him, but it’s troubling when Will Smith is the least interesting thing in his own movie. Ironic that a character named after the most famous signature on the Declaration of Independence veers so far from the signature style of an actor who made his name on Independence Day. We deserve better. You will be better. Next time.

Gina Carbone wants to join the Bluth family and live in the decrepit model home. She can be reached at gcarbone@seacoastonline.com.

STARRING Will Smith, Jason Bateman, Charlize Theron WRITTEN BY Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan DIRECTED BY Peter Berg RATED PG-13 2.25 stars (out of 4)

HANCOCK