Kick movie review: This Salman Khan film is ‘Unjhelable’

What this lovely word means is ‘unbearable’, though it can’t come remotely close to the tedium that the original describes. Salman’s leading lady says it to him. About him. Yes, gasp, addressing the one and the only Sallu Bhai, who appears in his latest In and As avatar in ‘Kick’.

We duly crack a smile. Look, look, Bhai is sending himself up. He’s letting his heroine crack a good one at his expense. Because he knows that he is anything but. And that he’s just waiting for her to finish the scene and leave, to get into his `Dabangg’ mode, for the hall will burst into hoots and claps and whistles.

That’s what a viewing of ‘Kick’ comes down to. I found it more or less ‘jhelable’ when Salman is not taking himself seriously, blowing a cherry at us. When the film starts getting him close to his noble Being Human image, it becomes a yawn. Salman kickin’ it is fine, but tearin’ up? Nahiiiiiin.

The plot, as befits a Salman Khan spectacle, is completely and delightfully cuckoo. Devi Lal Singh (Salman Khan) is a guy who wanders about searching for kicks. His father (Mithun Chakraborty) eggs him on in his pursuit. Devi runs into the sexy Shaina (Jacqueline Fernandez), but before anything can happen , he’s off and away. It’s time for Devi’s alter-ego, Devil, to show up, and be chased by a cop ( Hooda), and a crook (Nawazuddin Siddiqui) here and there and everywhere.

Never mind these niceties. We know that a Salman film is created solely to display his popular quirks and his one-liners and his ‘andaaz’, all of which are designed to send his fans into a swoon. Simple. When the story dares to fling such complex phrases as ‘retrograde amnesia’ and ‘conservative management’ at us, we fling them right back as we wait for Salman to slam it.

What makes ‘Kick’ interesting, apart from some unfettered Salman moments, is Siddiqui in full flow. His villainy is very Bollywood, with a trademark evil laugh, but self-aware and vivid at the same time : there are scenes he steals from everyone, including, sacrilege, from the Khan, even though the latter gets to throw away one of the most famous lines in movie history, with a wink : you talking to me?

Everything else is as it should be. Fernandez is made to play a psychiatrist just so Bhai can call her Psycho. Ha ha. We know she is a doctor because she wears thick framed-spectacles, which she chucks to a side to execute a perfect eye-popping shimmy shake. Hooda is watchable, as he almost always is, but he needed better scenes. The rest of the cast just does its job—of bringing up the rear.

Because the front end is dominated by Salman the Khan. Devi or Devil, same difference.